ASSIMILATION IS AT HAND!

Well folks, like they used to say at the Infantry School, it is all over but the cryin'.
No less an authority than USA TODAY has officially declared that OPRAH WINFREY
is the spiritual guide for this new century, indeed this new millennium.
Everyone knows that USA TODAY is the very cutting edge of all things...they are never mistaken about anything, and have won so many awards that they had to build a new place to store them all. So if it is written in USAT, it is written in stone.

There will be no refusals allowed in accepting our new SPIRITUAL GURU (as USAT calls her). Your assimilation is going to occur...but it can be easy, or it can be hard...the choice is yours...!
The OPRAHFICATION of America that I predicted several years ago is entering it's final phase. We are fucked!