STATE OF EMERGENCY...

Sweet Jesus...the District of Columbia declared a state of emergency on Tuesday afternoon. Just exactly WHY they did so remains a mystery...
Most of the rain was passed...(it did rain heavily over night, but not enough to threaten the end of life on earth).
I had occasion to see the woman in charge of the DC office of Emergency
Freak-Outs as she announced this step to the media. She was broadcasting from the command bunker...(where ever the hell it may be)...If you don't have the privilege or, more appropriately fortune to live in DC then what I am about to say might not matter to you...but just in case you care about the capitol of the country...well...WE ARE FUCKED!

Almost all of the Emergency Center staff is EEOC...now, there is nothing wrong with helping folks get a leg up on life...but ya know, I'd rather not have the junior college drop outs and the semi-literate working in or managing ANY activity in which the word "EMERGENCY" is included in the title. The country is filled with educated, articulate people of many races who could work there and in whom I would feel at least a modicum of faith if not actual confidence...but declaring an emergency two full days after the Mall is squishing with overflow is not quite acting in a timely manner. To make it worse, I have had access to some of the planning and all of the study's done on this in the DC Metro area...
My suggestion to you all is, come visit DC while it is still here to visit...if we have a real natural disaster the folks around here will make Brown and Nagin look like the smartest men on earth...if we have a man-made disaster, like a small nuke, courtesy of Kim Il-fatshit or the Mad Mullahs in Iran, I guarantee that the Command Bunker folks will be amongst the first to load up their Lexus SUV and head for the Shenandoah Valley...

In fairness the reports I have seen indicate that just about any US city would be in deep doo-doo in similar situations...but DC will lead the way in what-not-to-do with such elan and acumen that it will make the New Orleans and Louisana officials pale by comparison...

Now, I must go continue work on the ark...

Even MORE Perfect...

Now it gets even better...TORNADO's in DC...wonderful...
Just wonderful...

FAREWELL FATTY...

Well, it seems old tons of nothing special Star Jones is leaving the chick-show the VIEW...Apparently her extraordinary tackiness in asking sponsors for freebies to her wedding last year (to a gay guy), has caused the network to finally bounce her greasy ass.
A little review...she used to be a lawyer...(in the same way that Monica Lewinsky is an astro-physicist). If memory serves, fat Star showed up about ten years ago to give commentary on legal cases involving black defendants...CNN was one place where she proved that just about anything that breathes can get a law degree these days. I remember an angry outburst by her on CNN one day when she was shown to not really know much about law after all...all of the other lawyers on the show just laughed out loud at her.
Anyway, she was also one of the largest human beings (and I use human advisedly) on earth...at a party in the Hamptons once, she served herself lobster while her guests ate hot dogs...she "wrote" a book about how to get ahead in life (ah huh!) in which she detailed the first time she and hubby Al Reynolds made love...she described it in rapturous depth. Amazing when you recall that ole Al is famous for taking it in but not giving it out...I guess it would be pretty cool for a fat pig-woman to make a gay guy get erect...but I really doubt it happened.

She had her stomach by-passed and lost weight, prior to which she was never more than a case of Twinkies away from being re-named Planet Jones....but she was incapable of saying that she had surgical help, so she pretended that she lost it thru diet and Pilates...a lie not missed by many...not the least of whom is tubby butch Rosie O'Donnell who is scheduled to join the VIEW later this year...she and Star are apparently not pals, and Star decided not to take on Rosie in front of a TV camera, where I am sure Rosie would have stomped Jones into dust,(albeit a massive pile thereof) in that Jones is stupid in such a profound way...

What is even better about all of this is that Jones doesn't have any offers from the media now...and, if God is watching, she will disappear from the consicousness of the entire country, if not the world. At least until her divorce.

In closing I must call attention to something particularly amusing and scary at the same time...granted, she has slimmed down her ponderous bulk...but note that her head is still massive...as in Jack-0-Lantern large...and with that smile, she could be confused with a Halloween pumpkin quite easily.
Just sayin' ...

PERFECT...

To make life even better here in DC, a nice little "system" is developing off the Carolina's...this may well cause a "weather event" that we will call a HURRICANE.
(Dontcha love when these weather folks use big words?)
Just WTF we need here in the mid-Atlantic is more rain.

NOAH'S UPDATE...

We had a bit of rain here in River City the past few days...actually, we had a lot of rain...at least for here it was a lot...9.5 inches in about 36 hours, and more is one the way...Lots of floods, some houses evacuated near a road construction site...trees down here and there...Metro flooded...some Federal buildings/activities closed///(who'd notice?) Washington wasn't as badly hit as some places in Delaware or Maryland or southeastern Virginia.

Personally, I haven't fared too badly...a leak here and there in my drawing room...a bit of water in the basement...but over all I am ok...I won't need to water the plants/trees/grass again until October...if then... This is sort of amusing since I live on the very highest point in the whole city...but what is kind of interesting was the intensity of this little squall...this was a Forrest Gump rain..and I haven't seen on of those since I left LBJ's war...this was not just "torrential" as the weather people called it...this was the intensity a whole herd of cows peeing on a flat rock...
A few weeks back the Commonwealth of Massachusetts got this sort of rain and had really severe flooding...I attributed that to the fact that ole Mother Nature just flat out doesn't like Fat Teddy Kennedy or that silly damned Kerry person...the past few days I wondered why that same Mother Nature was pounding on DC...but it didn't take much to figure it out...
CONGRESS...she wanted to punish the fools who are giving the country away...of course, she got her calendar wrong...this should have happened during a hill session..not in the summer when those damned fools are out-of-town...(I sent a note to Mother Nature regarding this, but I worded it subtlely so she wouldn't take offense...maybe by next week we will see some relief).

In the mean time, I am building an ark in my garage...gopher wood is hard to find, so progress is slow.

Quote

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE NECESSITY FOR PATRIOTISM. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE A PATRIOT? ABOUT WHAT? THIS LAND IS OUR LAND? WHY?

YOU CAN LIKE WHERE YOU LIVE, AND LIKE YOUR LIFE, BUT, AS FOR LOVING THE WHOLE COUNTRY...I DON'T SEE WHY PEOPLE CARE ABOUT PATRIOTISM...

Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines spoke these words in London a few weeks back. I assume that the Brits got a good laugh about the total and profound absurdity of this statement...the complete and utter, overwhelming self-centeredness of this woman is terrifying.

Well, apparently she only cares about her little puke-hole in Texas...and that she is rich because people in other places, about which she apparently cares nothing, bought their cd's...I don't care that she speaks these words...that's OK...what worries me is that this clearly stupid fat cow believes them...
I continue to weep for the future.

What you will NOT see in the NYT

We have before us now one Geraldine Ferraro..you remember her don't you??? She was the dem's choice for veep way back when. She still shows up here n' there as a talking head, fully espousing the party line...Her political fortunes waned badly after her hubby, John Zaccaro went to prison for being corrupt ...he is out now, long since...but the BEST part is about their voting habits...
It appears that they have been voting in the Hamptons, where they own a second home...AND back in another part of NY where their primary residence sits...naughty, naughty, naughty...and, the local DA suspects that there are many, many more like-minded socialists out there in the Hamptons who are equally ill-behaved...Jesus...as if they needed to cheat in NY...it isn't like there is one iota of a chance that anyone who isn't a left-wing democrap would ever win out there...
But ya know wahts really odd here...BOBBY KENNEDY DIDN'T MENTION THIS WHEN HE WAS PISSING ABOUT VOTER FRAUD...and, even better...this isn't in the NYT...

When anything will suffice...

For those of you who have time to painfully kill, today's NYT Style section have a cover page, above-the-fold, massive picture story about Bobby Kennedy Jr.
Actually, "story" or "article" just aren't words sufficient to cover it...blow job is closer to the truth. This shouldn't be a surprise...the NYT has moved to the left of Thurgood Marshall in recent years...so pushing the dead, used-up, discredited Kennedy agenda is something they do well...just as MSNBC is the Kennedy Channel, the NYT is the Kennedy paper...
today's sex-up is by one Mark Leibovich...(wanna guess his political affiliation?)...he pretends to want to be fair by pointing out that Catholic Kennedy is divorced, is/was a heroin addict, and, the real crux of the piece, Kennedy has written a piece for Rolling (but irrelevant) Stone about how the GOP conspired to steal the election in '04. Even that lefty mouthpiece SLATE has discredited Kennedy's writing...and every democrat of consequence (is that oxy-moronic?) had moved away from Kennedy on this issue faster than old Uncle Ted moves on an unattended gin & tonic...but the most amusing thing to me, who is old enough to recall well the 1960 presidential election, is that any one named Kennedy being critical of anyone else "stealing" an election is so far past laughable as to be worthy of a major comedy award. But earnest little Bobby does all of this with a straight face...learning to lie with sincerity is a genetic thing in his cesspool...so he needn't learn it as other politicians do. He was going to run for AG in NY this year...he didn't. Presumably so the current socialist who is running could make that move. I can't wait to see what Kennedy was offered for not getting in the way.
Next time you see Rolling Stone on the news stand...buy one...just in case you want to save on toilet paper.

One Reason the team from Brazil Does Well...

OK..they are quite possibly surgically enhanced...they also seem to be, shall we say, looking in different directions...but one does admire the exuberance of those Brazilian babes...

Soccer

The US Team playing at the world cup in Germany was defeated by the team from GHANA...(let that sink in)...I guess we had to play Ghana because Team Somalia wasn't available just now...
If the US team had lost to England or Spain or something it would be OK...but Ghana??? When I first saw the headline I thought it was a joke...well, actually it was a joke, but it is on us. Oy!

A question of correctness...

According to MSNBC, the two men from the One-Oh-One were KILLED...why is it that they were KILLED when the Islamic pigshit's do it, but it is MURDER if the US kills a prisoner???
OH! Silly me...I forgot...MSNBC (amongst other media outlets) is OPPOSED to the war in Iraq, so they need to minimize anything that doesn't fit that loathe-America view...
Remember this when you next turn on the cable news...

B F D

Today was Sir Paul McCartney's sixty-fourth birthday...(BFD)...
Damned good thing it fell on a Sunday, otherwise it would have had to be declared an International Holiday...(probably by the UN) People the world over would have had to gather in parks and hold hands and sing old Beatles songs (is there any other kind?)... When he was sixteen he wrote the song about this age, and the planet acts as if it were written by the hand of God...Personally, I have nothing against the man...but even he has to be embarrassed by the media attention to a mere birthday...it isn't like he hit one-hundred today...altho he may well want to, since he is raising a two year old now...
We have too friggin' much media with too much airtime to fill...it will be the end of life on earth...intelligent life that is...

Big Dong missile

Well, well, well...it appears that North Korea has an ICBM...is anyone with any brain capacity at all surprised by this??? Didn't a past US President make a nice treaty with them that precluded any bad behavior if we sent food and other material to them in the late nineties???
Now the current dolt in the Oval Office tells us it's ok, cuz their nukes are too crude and heavy to be placed on top of an ICBM...sure...FOR NOW...what about next year??? Or in five years???
(God I miss the Cold War)

Couldn't Resist...(with thanks to Ranger RB)

Those silly New Yorkers...

A couple of years ago Uncle Sam quietly told the NYPD et al to begin looking for little machines with which Usama & Company were planning to unleash cyanide in the NYC Subway system...(the gas was to be very similar to ZYKLON B, as used by the Nazi's in WWII...who says these Islamic bastards don't "get" irony?)

Anyway, this inspection procedure slowed down a lot of subway riding in NYC...and pissed off a lot of locals who felt such a thing would either lead to racial profiling or worse...so the cops got to inconvenience everyone...checking many millions of backpacks and purses etc., that were capable of carrying the gas canisters and the auto-fire mechanism on them...hell, even the ACLU got in on this and sued the city for this "invasion of privacy"...At the time I laughed quite hardily at this absurdity...just because Uncle or a state or city administration doesn't tell everyone the rationale behind some security moves, it doesn't mean that the moves aren't necessary...but God help us if some lefty bedwetter is slowed down on his/her morning commute...and he cannot still safely carry his kiddie porn to enjoy with his morning half-caff latte with a twist...I wonder just how much privacy one has when one is dead.
Luckily, the bad guys decided to not continue the mission...solely because it wouldn't cause enough destruction...I have been telling everyone who would listen (since before 9/11) that these sons' of pigs were less interested in those virgins in heaven than in making a massive grand gesture as a means to get to "paradise"...they don't want to just kill people in the US, they want to do it in a major way...and the standard being the collapse of the Twin Towers makes it a little easier to figure what they might go for next...they want flattened real estate, not just thousands or tens of thousands of dead bodies...and for that we must be grateful...
I think it was ole Napoleon who said never to interfere with an enemy when he is making a mistake...

Today's Question...

A Little More 666.

With just a few minutes left in this day of all days, I thought it might be appropriate to post a picture of one of the many, many contenders for either Satan (herself), or, at the very least, the Anti-Christ...Ms. Couric is assuredly in the top three picks for both titles...So much so that Maxim devoted several inches of webspace to her today...(this picture is obviously theirs).
Having known Ms. Couric back when she was a lowly reporter, I have long viewed her as an easy claimant to being Satan's top assistant...how the hell else could you be a perky pain-in-the-ass for years and years on a morning show??? (Ok, drugs might have helped)...
So, as I countdown the remaining fifty-five minutes until either Armageddon or not, I keep tabs on where Ms. Couric is right now, just in case she, Satan or Ariana Huffington (a better choice for the Anti-Christ) decides to strike at midnight!

Fun with Photoshop

I cannot take credit for this, but it is a very amusing use of computer software...

TACKY MAC is STILL TACKY...

So this tacky little prickette* MacEnroe is playing a match in Atlanta last week. He, as per usual, didn't like a call from the ump, so he drops his shorts and moons the stadium! Fifty-five thousand people get to look at his hairy zit-covered ass...(altho they may have had some trouble distinguishing it from his face)...Nice behavior...what a role model he is...
middle aged and still a toddler...he needs an ass-whipping worse than anyone else in tennis, maybe in all of professional sports...(OK! Maybe Barry Bonds too)
(He isn't man enough to be a full fledged prick, so he is the lesser version)

The Other POV on 666

The Return of the Diet-monster.

I like this picture. I would love to see this over-the-hill sissy-bitch chained to a large fork and then see the fork attached to a Titian II missile...then launch this little shit into orbit...
Thankfully he has been off the cultural radar for the past several years...now he has returned, or at least is attempting a return...making money off the misery of millions of fat women is pathetic...but now he has a whole generation of new chunkettes from whom he will mooch...God how I'd love to see him in a hypoglycemic shock...
(PS...I found the picture online...)

Six-Six-Six

Today is the sixth day or the sixth month of the sixth year of this new century. The number 666 has some serious meaning to both Christians and the followers of Satan.
Lots of folks are praying today that the ole Devil doesn't show up today and make things worse. IMO, he has been at work pretty steadily lately...
I have a passing acquaintance with one of his primary supplicants...a fat, ugly, disgusting pig of a woman who lives here in Washington who masquerades as a pious woman-of-God at the National Cathedral, but in reality is a soul-sucker who preys on other women for their social connections and ultimately, their souls...Somehow God isn't really watching right now...if he ever has...
Personally, I am a bit amused at the extra God-bothering that is occurring today simply because the calendar reads 06-06-06...